Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
