If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
