I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
tequila makes me forget i have legs
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
