pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
