I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize