maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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