Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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