Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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