He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
