D3 body, D1 cock
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize