So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
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Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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