Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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