Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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