For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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