If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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