There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
