Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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