Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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