Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
