If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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