Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
