i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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