If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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