You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
