I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
