just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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