Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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