i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize