it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
