I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
