just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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