She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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