Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
