I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wish my penis had a tongue
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
