Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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