i love accidental penises.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
