I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
