It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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