So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize