he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
