So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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