After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
