She said her name was "party"
Small penises have feelings too.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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