When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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