don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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