well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.