Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS