Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
