yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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