Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Where is the hickey?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
