he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
