I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
