I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
