Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
