so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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