apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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