If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
